Her name is Erin Merryn and she is the founder of Erins Law. What if their family is pressuring them to just keep quiet and get on with their life? Do you know if it was as healing for him as it was for you? After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. They dont warn us about our own family, they dont teach us that in school, her age 12 entry stated. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. I really open lawmakers' eyes when I share this with them. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. Silence Broken and Stigmas Shattered -- Help for Incest Survivors Is Here Fans of Erin Merryn's heart-wrenching debut memoir Stolen Innocence were left wondering at the end what would become of an emotionally fragile Erin after her confrontation with the reality of being a child of incest and molestation. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio SenatePrimary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. I eventually would return back to the room I was interviewed in nine months later when I began doing individual counseling but was still not ready to go there into details the shame overwhelmed me however I did learn to finally stop blaming myself for what happened to my younger sister and my entire family. The family pressed charges against Brian, who ultimately admitted to three counts of sexual abuse. The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? The revelation caused tension in the family. This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. So, instead of speaking out, the only person she told her thoughts and feelings to was herself in the form of a little pink diary. But only 1 in every 10 sexually abused children ever tell anyone about it. Bad things happen to children all the time. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. To a child who has been told so many threats to stay silent the idea of being taken to a police station can often scare a child. Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. Sharing those details can be difficult because as survivors, they bring us back to the place where we endured the horror. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. It wasnt until Erin was 13 and found out the same thing was happening to her little sister (then age 11), that she decided she needed to speak out. From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. I wanted to know why, and when I asked if he was abused, he denied it and said he abused me out of curiosity and an urge of sexuality. After graduating, Erin went on to earn her Masters degree in social work, but from time to time she would still consult her little pink childhood diary. Erin first gained public attention for this cause when she self-published her first book while still a senior in high school in Schaumburg IL, entitled: Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir. 2019 TIME USA, LLC. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. My question to hotel or motel management would be, Why not tell? Sponsored by Rep. Geran Tarr, D-Anchorage, HB 233 puts Alaska among the states considering "Erin's Law" in 2014. A voice that flies across America and speaks at many of these CAC's that exist taking people back to my experience at the CAC and this time sharing all the details because I no longer carry the shame but instead a voice bringing awareness to these incredible centers that give children a new start on life and a path toward healing. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. My mission, through this legislation, is to educate children on what I never learned. COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . Use safe and unsafe touch. Merryn lay on blankets on the floor next to Ashley, who was in her bed. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. Merryn: I didn't expect a response back from my cousin because my letter was very harsh filled with so much anger and rage. I pull out my sixth grade DARE card and tell lawmakers I knew the eight ways to say "no" to drugs and have never tried even a cigarette and I am nearly 30 years old. Before . Alaska Dispatch: In your quest to get Erin's Law passed in every state, you must have encountered some surprising remarks. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. 2023, Charter Communications, all rights reserved. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). We need to start teaching kids this, she said. [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. Usually, the abuse isnt at the hands of a stranger, rather someone they know and trust. Two days later, their cousin was brought into the police station. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. As I describe in my books, that center was the foundation of my healing. The abuse went on for years. I also give lots of insight and resources to parents in my third book An Unimaginable Act on warning sings to look for like bed wetting, wearing extra layers of clothes, avoiding a certain person, not wanting to be around them when they had no problem before, academic changes in school, depression, withdrawal, nightmares, aggression; acting out sexually, she said. The center provided me a safe place to connect with people who understood unlike my friends in school who did not understand what I had gone through. My name is Erin Merryn and I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. Now she's on a quest to make sure lawmakers across America hear what she has to stay. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. That happened until I was 13. Erin Merryn was an innocent child of six when her best friend asked her to sleepover. [8] In November 2009, she published a second book, Living For Today, discussing earlier abuse by her neighbor. He was given probation and counseling., Forgiveness is what set me free, she said. She knew exactly what she was doing by asking simple questions on my life, friends, what I did for fun, and my family. I was a senior in high school when I published my first book, my childhood diary where I kept my secrets of abuse with my cousin locked away. See the sex abuse in Israel's ultra-orthodox community. Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. The reality is, 93 percent of the time it is not strangers that are hurting kids. Since going public 10 years ago, I have had no contact with him. I feel it would have given me the voice that these men took from me. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. Donors may not deduct contributions made to Erins Law under IRC Section 170 (c) (2). I always feared he would come back. Erin's Law, named after Erin Merryn, has passed in 36 states and is pending in the other 14. No one is allowed in the bathroom with you not even your friend. You have permission to edit this article. When people ask how I have overcome all that I have and doing what I am doing now, passing Erin's Law in 11 states, 26 introducing it and going to each capital to testify on it, I tell them all of this comes from our creator. He was the father of my best friend. She kept quiet, but behavior problems soon followed. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. Nightmares. But Ashley begged her not to say anything because Richard had told her they would "lose the house" if the girls told anyone. Victims are those who don't survive. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. The book is titled "Stolen Innocence." The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. When all you have ever been told by an abuser is to stay silent, no one will believe you, this is our secret, you learn to believe that, and (it) makes it extremely difficult to speak up about. It just turned into a screaming match between my mom and his mom, your son did this, your girls are liars, remembered Erin. The next day they told their parents. How did you find this voice? When I was six years old, I was sexually abused at a neighbor's house. Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. Only this time, the person behind it was her older cousin, a nice young man with a bright future to whom she looked at as the brother she never had.. When Erin Merryn was a child, she was sexually abused by two people she knew and trusted, including a family member. Merryn said the abuse only stopped because her family moved away. Did you have a helper or helpers in your life? Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. She wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her life. I survived it and eventually learned how to thrive from it by breaking my silence and putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. See all See top. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. This went on for a month before police got involved. Thats precisely why she does what she does. Two years later, though,whenErin was 11, she said her older teenage cousin started abusing her too. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Unfortunately, children who are abused once are at even higher risk of being abused again by someone else because they are vulnerable and easy to prey on. Two against one, somebody had to believe us.. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. Erin Elizabeth heard over the years from 11-13 "Nobody will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy our large extended family, this is our secret don't tell anyone." There, at her friends house, in the middle of the night, she was sexually assaulted by her friends uncle. Instead I am still running from Brian. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. All rights reserved. Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. 25 $. will then mail or hand the parents or responsible adult family member the Megans Law information. Erin Merryn detailed the treatment and help she received from the Children's Advocacy Center, which has 900 locations across the U.S.A. - a safe environment for children to share their stories of abuse. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. If someone ever does touch you in those areas, you tell immediately., Merryn suggests the books The Swimsuit Lesson and The Right Touch.. Vote in support of this bill before police got involved psychologist in high school really me... It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in sleep... 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